guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
