Where are you?
In a non slutty way
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Dicks are not precious.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
