Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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