But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
