So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
