Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize