she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize