even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize