I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
