SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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