I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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