the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
