3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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