I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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