I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There r osticjed everywhere
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
