i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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