I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
