I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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