Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize