So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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