shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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