So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
