bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
