I just pynch a tree in the face
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
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