I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
