Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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