Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
