hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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