Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
