Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
