i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize