Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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