Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We are two peas in an std pod
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
