You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize