he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
