After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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