hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
