bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
