Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
