I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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