Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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