I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
