Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
