Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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