I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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