I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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