she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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