clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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