i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize