dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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