I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i've created a new STD.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
