Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
