I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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