im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im holly from the hills drunk
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
PANTIES FOUND
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