i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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