Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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