Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
