are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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