u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
