so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
