Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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